It’s the 27th

Another bit of pregnancy forum lingo for you: 2WW, the two week wait between when people think they ovulated and when their period is expected to start. It’s such a stressful time for people who are actively trying to conceive, because of that tension – did it work? Did we get the timing right? Am I pregnant this month? – and it without a doubt feels like the longest two weeks in the world, especially toward the end of those two weeks because every time you go to the toilet there’s that anxious moment of, will there be blood? Will my period have arrived?

Plus, of course, when you’re hoping for a baby you’re hyper-alert for anything that could possibly be construed as a sign – are my breasts more sensitive or painful than usual? Is that nausea already?! – which I think is usually just psychological! In my case I knew that any ‘symptoms’ were 100% the result of the various medications I was taking/sticking/inserting, so I have learned not to read too much into them.

Anyway, for me it was only nine days, but my god what a long nine days those were. I kept as busy as possible to avoid dwelling on anything too much, doing a ton of cooking, attending a “dog party” (owners of medium/large dogs in our neighbourhood are quite friendly and one labrador-owning family organised a little potluck gathering – my dog got thoroughly worn out by the younger yellow labrador retriever and it was great fun), going into the city to do some shopping, and grabbing lunch with a friend. If I had a full-time job I’m sure it would be easier to pass the time, but as it is…

So finally, finally, the 27th arrives, and everything is chaos because my husband suddenly had to go off on a business trip the night before which meant I was the only one in charge of everything and my daughter decided she’d rather stay at home with Mummy than go to daycare. By the time I’d actually got her to daycare (tears and screams, oh no, bye bye sweetie have a lovely day), come back home to walk the dog, and then gone back into town to go to the clinic, I was feeling a little bit flustered and a big bit relieved that I’d scheduled the appointment for later in the morning rather than earlier! The nurse I’m friendliest with noticed I was a bit off as she grabbed her stuff to draw the blood sample, but chatting with her soon made me feel like I was getting back into the swing of things.

And then the wait. Normally it takes them about half an hour to process a blood sample, right? So I sat out in the waiting room and mindlessly refreshed apps on my phone, catching pokemon in Pokemon GO (yes I still play) and reading random news articles. Thirty minutes passed, so I then moved back to the corridor outside the various consultation and examination rooms, and went back to staring at my phone. More time passed. I read the information posters on the wall in front of me for the millionth time. Patients with numbers both before and after mine kept getting called, and I tilted my head back to rest it against the wall with a tiny thud, wondering when I’d finally be seen.

Then my friendly nurse came out into the corridor, and paused by me to chat like she often does. “You still waiting?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “They just called number 49, and I’m number 47, so… not long, I guess.”

“Ahh,” she said. “They should be getting ready to call you soon!”

And then she looked at me, and I

looked back with a wordless, wait, you know the results? Is it…?

and she gave a big smile behind her mask, yes!!

My face screwed up in happiness, and she touched my shoulder. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have… The doctor should tell you,” she said. “Pretend you didn’t hear anything!”

“Hear what?” I asked. “I know nothing!”

“That’s right,” she said. “I only came to say goodbye because I’m just going on my lunch break! Like that! Yes! See you again soon!”

So, rather unorthodox, but there we are!

Then, another few minutes later my number was finally called, and Dr. O pulled out my file as soon as I sat down. “The test was positive!” she said. “Congratulations! Your hormone levels are here, look,” she circled numbers at the bottom of the page. “Oestrogen levels are good, progesterone levels are good. Everything looks okay. You’ll need to come in for injections every few days now as well as the pessaries – can you come on Tuesday? – and then your first scan will be on February 3rd, to check that the amniotic sac, and the second one will be two weeks later, where we’ll be able to see the baby’s heartbeat.”

I nodded. Even though I already knew the test result, somehow right there I felt emotional and felt my eyes fill with tears that I hastily blinked back.

“I’m so glad,” Dr. O said, pausing to look at me and smile. I nodded again.

“I was trying so hard not to think about it,” I said. “But we finally got to this point!”

“Yes! The nurses will give you your injection, and more oestrogen tape and progesterone pessaries to take home. I’ll see you next Friday!”

When I got home there was an email waiting for me with the title ご妊娠された皆様へ (go-ninshin sareta minasama e – to all pregnant people) which is a little more high-tech than the green piece of paper I was handed nearly three and a half years ago. It contains a .pdf which gives some useful information (you may experience some bloody discharge; this is normal if you are using pessaries as the medication causes the vagina wall to become prone to bleeding, and is not a problem), information about what to do if there are any problems, and general advice on daily life (You can run, jump, lift heavy loads, ride bicycles, and go on trips without any difficulties. However, you may feel too tired or unwell, so don’t push yourself and have plenty of rest when you need it.)

The .pdf also tells people at what stage they need to do various things regarding contacting City Hall: at 7-8 weeks we must inform them of the pregnancy so that we can obtain a ‘Mother and Child Handbook’ (母子手帳 – boshi techo) and then from the 9th week there are coupons we can use to cover the cost of the various prenatal checkups.

I am currently four weeks pregnant. Isn’t that nuts? The egg only got put back in nine days ago! I know why it’s counted that way – the exact date of implantation is hard to determine in most people so it’s always counted from the last period – but it still sounds strange. It’s too early to celebrate because this is still such a risky period, but. But. We’re getting there. We got this far. This is pretty big.